Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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