I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Randomize
