Christians are straight up FREAKS
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
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yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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