YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
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