He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
