i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
