...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
