I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
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I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
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He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
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