When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Randomize
