i would punch a child for taco bell
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
