Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I came so hard my ears popped.
Randomize
