WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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