Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
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