I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
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We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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