he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize