she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
