your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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