At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize
