I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
