He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
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