I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Randomize
