My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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