the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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