It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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