I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
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