I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
