I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
