I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
