K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
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were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
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we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
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