why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
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