Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Randomize
