you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Randomize