I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize
