I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Randomize
