am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Randomize
