they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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