are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
