If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
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