you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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