We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
