I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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