We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize