Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
