My room smells like vodka and shame
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Randomize
