I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
