I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
