Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
