Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Randomize
