those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
