My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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