Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
