Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
