I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
