you would pick up someone in the library
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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