yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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